Wait for It

I would shove my hand so far down my own throat just to retch out every bit of sadness inside me, if I knew it would help.

I would bash my temple against the corner of the dresser repeatedly to render myself dumb with every bit of darkness blotted out, if I knew it would help.

I would slice open my wrists to bleed out every bit of hurt, pain, and turmoil til I drowned myself in red to permanently hush the nightly cries, if I knew it would help.

I would stretch out across the tracks and close my eyes anticipating theĀ oncoming solace as the train ravaged my corpse into loose pieces, if I knew it would help.

But these moments of potential peace offer no real escape, so I will wait it out.

I will wait everything out that could ever hope to occur.

I will wait out the end of time if need be.

I will accept every bit of hell birthed before me while I wait this all out.

I will wait for the good, whatever that may be.

I will wait, even though I don’t believe it will help.

I will wait, even though it’s not helping me.

I will wait, even though I don’t want to.

I will wait, because I have to.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s