Tiny House Hunters drivel on the telly,
Photos of Christmas splendor upload slowly,
Hot tea steams from my artsy mug,
Dog companion quiet to my side,
Happy cat purrs in curled warmth behind me,
The love in my life slumbers in the next room…
Today’s inner peace achievement: unlocked.
My future is uncertain and shaky, which is no different from how it’s always been, but I’m more aware of it than ever now.
It made me rather nervous when necessary aspects for living became part of that uncertain, shaky vein. This fall and winter proved difficult in my attempts to hold myself together.
But I did.
Even though nothing has changed regarding just how murky the near future is for me, I’m simply not as worried. I’ll make it. I may not enjoy it at times, but I will make it, and everything will be all right some way, somehow.
What’s more is I’ve moved past accepting whatever happens; now I’m looking forward to it.
I’m ready to continue building my life experiences, whatever those may be.
While single, I happily accepted life as a journey through which I could actually enjoy both the magnificent and the hellish. When I fell in love with someone who genuinely fell in love with me, I found myself second-guessing everything, and depression’s panging disdain clouded my hard-earned carefree vision.
I was afraid of sharing my journey with someone who might abandon me during it, forever barricading the road of life to which we committed.
Then I realized, if that were the case, it’s still a part of the journey. There are no barricades to eternally halt my travels; a detour or two is always available.
However, I think our travelling companionship won’t experience any need for detour separation. Certainly not anytime soon.
Seemingly out of nowhere, a line from Norah Jones’s song slipped from my love during a plain, quiet moment this vacation.
Maybe, subconsciously, that prompted all of this. Either way, it fits.