Unpopular Opinions

I don’t really like Captain America. Too vanilla, too lawful good. I found his storyline boring when I was a kid. I fell asleep during his movie, and I was watching it outside on a college quad. I fell right to sleep, in the grass, surrounded by clamoring college geeks. I wasn’t even tired.

Yup.

Also, Steve, could you not be a honor-bound cunt for approximately five seconds? K thanks bye.

All right, perhaps that was too harsh.

But I don’t give one single fuck.

So.

I’m not an extreme Disney fanatic, and frankly I’m sick of seeing everyone lose their shit over Disney movies that aren’t even that big of a deal. Like chill. It’s a shitty sequel about a dementia riddled fish. No need to cry over that shit while waiting in line for your ticket. I’m just not connected to how a cartoon character deals with its life crisis. The last time I cried to a Disney movie was when Simba interacted with his dead father. And even then, it was one tear and I was a toddler.

So I need y’all to buck the fuck up.

And why all the craze over Beauty and the Beast? Do you understand what that story is about?

The fact that grown women are freaks for old Disney princesses just bugs me in general.

Really? You’re going to make your wedding theme all about Cinderella and the Little Mermaid?

The day you vow your undying love and lifelong commitment to another human being, and you got the seven dwarves and dalmatians on your cake.

Please.

And besides, DreamWorks is funnier.

Baelish is my favorite character on Game of Thrones. Baelish is bae.

Ned Stark was the dumbest character in that show.

Are you sensing a theme? I don’t care for honor-bound/driven bullshitty characters. They have no sense of reality, and they are terrible at reading people and situations. Get out.

I did not and still don’t like Evil Dead, but I love Bruce Campbell with every fiber of my being, so I’m eternally conflicted.

I think Hannibal Buress and Dane Cook are funny as fuck.

Final Destination is the shit.

I prefer the TV show of Walking Dead over the comic series.

Lady in the Water is a beautiful story and sometimes makes me cry.

Anne Hathaway is the worst Cat Woman ever.

I think Bucky should’ve died in Civil War. And this is coming from a big Sebastian Stan fan.

Kris Lemche is a fabulous actor, and none of y’all even know who he is. I suggest A Simple Curve.

I miss and prefer the old GTA games. I still like the newer ones, especially GTA V for the Ray Liotta-ish, Goodfellas style character, Michael. And Franklin is bitchin too. But my nostalgia hearkens me back to old shit every time.

I don’t like Fall Out Boy. I tried, but I just can’t.

I don’t find Tom Hiddleston remotely attractive, even though Loki is one of my favorite Marvel characters.

Fruit is disgusting.

I LOVE summer heat. 90+ is amazing.

Cats is my favorite musical. But close second and third is West Side Story and The Music Man.

I fucking hate teenage relationships in apocalyptic movies. Come to think of it, any kind of passionate, romantic babble during an apocalypse is ridiculous. If you’re going to be in a relationship, just have each other’s backs and kill zombies. Be like Maggie and Glenn. But even then, less romance-y. There is more important shit going down than whether or not he likes you back. Christ.

 

 

 

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