Things I Say Far Too Often

Same– I picked this up from Tumblr, I wish it would stop. But it probably won’t.

Genuine/genuinely– I say this a lot because I genuinely mean it when I use it. Its specific definition suits much of what I have to say.

Bitchin– I don’t say it ironically, I genuinely love this fucking word.

Son– https://youtu.be/Q9aM9Ch97U8?t=278. I used to say the whole line, “You can NOT handle the FLOW. SON.” But now I just end a medley of different sentences with “SON.” Watch the whole video, it cracks me the fuck up.

Love– I call people this. Like, “hey love,” “thanks love,” “don’t make me beat the shit out of you, love.” Subconsciously, I probably developed this from watching Pirates of the Caribbean too many times because everyone my age is crazy into Captain Jack Sparrow (not I, just got a lot of second-hand views), but I tend to call people “endearing” things anyway.

Like dear, sweetheart, honey, or when I’m really pissed at someone, “love of my life.”

I also call guys that I’m friends and/or close to, “sir.” And sometimes I say this to chicks I’m close to as well, although I try to refrain and say “ma’am” instead. Doesn’t always work out. Point is, I don’t say it out of respect, but more so out of burgeoning annoyance over whatever it is they’re saying or doing. I got that from my best friend, Heinzelman, who uses it far more than I do.

Fuckery– it’s a beautiful word. Everyone should use it.

Party-hardy– I like the way it sounds. Got good mouthfeel.

Cunt– I have an anger problem.

Tis– tis the way it is.

Imma– it amuses me to say or write this. It’s like the first step of rage, but you still want to be funny. Like, “I ain’t even mad, but if this shit continue imma fuck his day right up.”

(…)– I seriously use “…” way too much.

Fuck me runnin– again, the anger thing.

I dig it– what? I do dig it.

Shit his saddle (usually followed by “all the way from Oklahoma on this trail ride”)– I’ll stop saying this when people stop shitting their saddles all the way from Oklahoma.

Good goddamn– I stole this one from Game Grumps. It strikes me right up the giggle dickhole.

Giggle dickhole– stolen from Jenna Marbles.

Shocking, I know, I’m made of lies. Sheer, unoriginal lies.

Fuck’s sake– we just keep coming back to the anger thing. Although, this one is usually said with a British accent. Tip to my friends reading this, listen for the slight lilt next time.

I need to piss like a racehorse in summer– I have no idea, honestly, but my impressively overfilled bladder makes me say it every time.

Horseshit– a lot of things are simply horseshit.

Neeeeeed– I’m whiny and I need things. I NEEEED them.

GASP– this actually comes from something obscure and bizarre. I used to have a Hamtaro game for my Gameboy color, and all the little hamsters had cute motherfuckin words in their own cute motherfuckin language. Gasp-P! was for something like shock or fear or some bullshit, but I loved it.

Hold on, imma show you a picture.

It’s the best I could find:

Gasp-P

The hamsters made those faces to express the word, and ever since then I have used GASP because of this shit.

That’s about all I can think of so far, but I know I use these words and phrases to the max. If it’s annoying to anyone, I guess that’s just one big platter of too fucking bad that they’ll have to nosh on.

 

 

 

 

 

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One thought on “Things I Say Far Too Often

  1. More words used by ^her^ : “actually” (always used in a rebuttal sometimes along with “although”)… “anywho” (no comment)… “REALLY?” (with just enough sincerety to make u think u won ur rebuttal LOL)…”well, shit.” (something that was supposed to be in her purse, but isn’t)… and every line from Jurassic Park (no matter how obscure). 🙂

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