While watching Friends for the God-Knows-How-Manyth time, I came across the episode wherein Monica starts worrying about her impending wedding. While talking to Phoebe-who is just starting a relationship of her own-Monica realizes she may never again have that new relationship excitement. She goes on to state she will miss never having a first kiss again.
I have heard people worry about this before. I have heard people joke about not ever having the butterflies again, or never experiencing a first kiss again, and I have heard people be completely serious over these concerns. I can’t say I agree or even understand.
When it comes to the new relationship rush-at least in my experience-when I’m with someone, the “this is new and exciting” feeling never goes away unless the love itself has run out. Now, I’m not saying that shit doesn’t calm the fuck down at a certain point in the relationship, but I am saying that if you both love each other more than anyone else and it grows each day then having that “rush” shouldn’t be a concern. For that matter, the thing that I genuinely don’t understand is when people say they’re upset that they will never experience a first kiss again. Revisiting that one Friends episode, this is where I take Chandler’s stance on the whole ordeal. (If you haven’t seen the show or the episode to which I’m referring, Chandler is actually relieved to never have to worry about early relationship jitters and nerves again).
Indeed! I don’t know who the fuck you people are who perform perfect first kisses with every date you have, but my experience with first kisses are awful. Who are these people that have this in-sync, rom-com movie first kiss every time? First kisses are nerve wracking, awkward, often a little gross, and usually leave me and the other person worrying relentlessly for days if we were good enough or not. It makes me feel terribly too self-aware and obscenely self-conscious. So many things can go wrong: teeth clacking, too much saliva, not understanding what kind of kiss it’s going to be or become, fear over what the other person is thinking, afraid your breath smells bad or that your saliva is gross, concerned whether or not you might catch something from them be it the common cold or herpes… It’s a fucking nightmare.
When I’m single, especially now, I’m not missing the first kiss. When I’m in a committed relationship I’m thankful I’m at the millionth kiss and sometimes it’s still not always perfect or even very good. Sometimes it’s downright fucking comical.
Granted, my first kiss story with my most recent partner is heart-shattering adorable. You will most likely squee with the intensity of a thousand kawaii potatoes. But I recall that the kiss itself was terrifying and I was so panicked (hidden on the inside) that I hardly even remember the initial contact of the kiss at all. I think I blacked out for a nano-second to be honest.
The first kiss is the one thing I could live without. In fact, let’s just not kiss at all. Let’s just bite each other’s faces instead.
I don’t know. I shouldn’t be voted as the decider here.
My point is, I definitely don’t see how people get so worked up over potentially never having a first kiss again. And if your mate is glorious in bed then who cares if you don’t ever sleep with any other person? Yet, I can still understand the opposition of that ten times clearer than the points made for fear of no more first kisses.
I understand them. Doesn’t mean I agree with them. But at least I understand them.