The Other Night

This event took place a few months ago, but it was so funny to me. This night pretty accurately sums up my college life with one of my closest and best friends.

What a night; Youtube videos (Tobygames, specifically), pumpkin spice Oreos (what a find in the middle of spring!), and Veggie Sticks (the Kosher gal’s best food friend). Sharing all of that with a best friend sounds like a damn fairy-tale to me. Well, it turns out there is such a thing as too much fun… Too much laughter in particular.

During one episode of Tobygames–AKA Tobuscus–playing Grand Theft Auto V, Toby ramped up a driveway in a Lamborghini at approximately 85 videogame miles per hour and hit a poor, unsuspecting bystander. He sent this bro flying through the air, the initial hit knocking a wallet from the man’s pocket.

I started to laugh as Toby, the player, ashamedly blurted out “oops,” followed by “at least his wallet landed next to him so they can identify the body.”

I laughed so hard I literally, not figuratively, almost passed out. I may not have completely passed out, but I did completely sprint to the bathroom and recolored the tub in a festive fall orange, releasing a spicy scent. I could hardly breathe, still laughing, delirious by this point.

My poor friend basically collected me from the floor, laughing too, unable to speak. She didn’t even know what the hell had made me laugh so much, she was only laughing at my crazed reaction. I had to think back to some controlled relaxation techniques for anxiety to force myself to stop thinking about it because I couldn’t stop and I feared further projectile vomiting would ensue.

Finally I stopped laughing, cleaned myself up, and collapsed into a knock-out sleep on the couch. Every now and again I would be spurred with the mental image of the suddenly acrobatic man flying in sync with his wallet, inciting stifled giggles within me. That acidic sting of pumpkin-y vomit in the back of my throat would remind me to stop immediately. It took me weeks to get over how hilarious it was.

The next morning I awoke to a chipper, belligerent sore throat. I ended up dreadfully ill for the rest of the week. I genuinely laughed myself sick.

All I knew was that the rest of the world may have been celebrating the start of spring, but a sick scent of Autumn continued to plague my household.

I know it’s pretty terrible to laugh at something as gruesome as that, but it caught me off-guard and the gamer’s reaction and response was priceless… And I’m a terrible person. My funny bone secretly (although not so secret anymore) feeds off watching people (fictional, of course) get hit by something so hard they fly in the air and lose personal items or apparel. It cracks me up and sends me into a pit of painful laughter.

Now that you know this, feel free to send me clips of fictional characters or people who ended up alive and OK getting the wallets smacked out of them!


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