Written by StellarManxMarch 31, 2015 World Bipolar Day Questionnaire Advertisements Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:Like Loading... One thought on “World Bipolar Day Questionnaire” I wanted to answer these myself but it’s all being dickish so I’ll leave a reply in answer to these. Mind you, these are only my answers and outlook on bipolar today… Who knows how I’ll feel about it in a couple more months or so. 1. Bipolar doesn’t mean a whole lot to me. Sure it’s a big part of my life, but because it’s nearly always been a part of my life some way somehow, I honestly don’t know a day without it. I can’t reflect on a time without bipolar affecting me in some way, thus the most it can mean to me is all I know… Which, when you think about it like breathing and basic functions as being all you know, they don’t mean a whole lot other than the life you have as you know it. Hopefully that makes sense. 2. It was always speculated as possible for me to have bipolar since it runs extremely rampant throughout one half of my family. Although bipolar always loomed around, I was actually misdiagnosed as autistic first and was being treated for that. Luckily, by junior high my bipolar (plus an extreme sex-hormone imbalance) became much more noticeable and I was being mildly treated by 14-15. In college, I began experiencing more and stronger, real hypomanias but finally (yet slowly) getting better control over my depression. For me, the depression was easier to treat because I have always experienced major depression. It was the hypomania that wasn’t as noticeable because those around me focused more on the suicidal tendencies I held during my depressions. 3. Honestly hard to say. My family and doctor wondered when I was younger, but then I was misdiagnosed, but then I was counseled for bipolar (specifically depression) in high school, then properly seeking all forms of treatment by freshman-sophomore year of college. So I guess much more officially and formally I was diagnosed between 18 and 19, but I had always been aware of and/or treated for it since I was a kid. 4. Anything and everything organic, plus extreme de-stressing exercises plus control/release exercises, peer support from those suffering from similar/same disorders, therapy (of course), and taking courses on psychology to continue learning as much as I can about my disorder and others’ disorders. Out of everything, it helps me the most to know and understand what’s operating behind this disorder, and by that knowledge I feel more able to consistently transform the ideal of bipolar from disorder to beautiful ability to survive in certain situations. Maybe that’s just me, but I’d like to think that I wouldn’t have gotten this far in life without my bipolar instead of thinking I could have gone farther without it. I just don’t and can’t see it any other way. Otherwise, writing everything out as soon as it hits me, even if it’s scrawled upon a torn post-it note helps me distinguish between the confusing, muddled thoughts and emotions immensely. 5. It’s all right. It gets better, then it gets a little bad, but I just believe that’s life in general too. I’m generally happy… I don’t know. I’m here, and I’m doing things, and I feel pretty OK, but who knows what could happen. For some reason that’s a hard question for me. I don’t know if it’s actually difficult to answer or if I’m afraid to answer it positively just to be met with misery and devastation the next day, negating everything happy I just wrote. 6. Friendships-wise, yes and no. For a tumultuous period of time I was convinced by “good” friends that I was crazy and should be in a specialized institution and not college among all the “normal people.” Whatever that means. I believe it for a short period of time that everything bad that happened in all my groups of friends was my fault because I was apparently fucking crazy. Around this time I started upping my therapy and forcibly withdrawing from everyone, terrified that I was harming others and ruining their lives because of my actions, even though I had not done much of anything to anyone. I was convinced that their own problems were because of me somehow, because that’s what they told me. I genuinely nearly died from the stress and depression, and not by choice… My body was just crumbling. My hypoglycemia went out of control. FInally, I had a truly good friend, whom I’m sitll happy to say is my friend today, tell me, “You have to realize that sometimes it’s not you, it’s the people you’ve surrounded yourself with.” That really opened my eyes a lot, and my therapists agreed. I wasn’t as crazy as I had been made to believe… The people around me were much worse off than I was. In my personal life it’s had some negative effects, of course, but honeslty I’m in a good mood, I’m a little sleepy, and I just don’t want to fully go into any of that. All I can say is I’m happy to say that I’ve been working very hard to do much better, because it’s my close loved ones that I only really care about in this world and they’ve stuck with me this far. I owe to them and myself to keep trying even when I fail. And honestly, it’s the trying that really matters to them even when I feel shitty from my failures. When it comes to my professional life, I am usually, USUALLY, ok through my work… It’s before and after where the stress and issues really hit. I can literally just get through a bout of extreme sobbing, suicidal convictions, and complete mess but still walk through the door and face my employer with some sense of normalcy. Except for one time, but God that was an awful day. An awful week… Month. Whatever. Ugh. 7. I think there’s a sense of tolerance towards those with bipolar, but not as much acceptance as there should be. I think there’s not so much of a completely negative connotation associated with bipolar, not initially anyway, but people definitely do not take it seriously. It’s treated like it’s a big joke, or just some epic mood swing, and not something seriously debillitating. 8. Oh yeah definitely, but because of that I didn’t think too highly of those people either. If you can’t at least be tolerant, then don’t expect me to be tolerant or accepting of your issues too. There’s not such thing as normal; EVERYONE has a problem. 9. If someone can’t handle your bipolar, then instead of letting that get to you and making you feel lesser, realize it’s just one more thing that you can apparently handle better than they. If they won’t even stick around long enough to even be friendly, then their leaving you is only a blessing because you don’t need that shit. Seriously. If you’re bipolar, you’ve got enough to deal with when it comes to improving yourself (or hell, just trying to maintain yourself) you don’t need to deal with other people’s BS. Like my fiance tells me: “If you want to help others, you have to help yourself first. Otherwise, there won’t be much of you if a you at all to help anyone.” Never stop learning about your disorders, others’ disorders, and strictly yourself. You’ll come to find you’re not as “crazy” as you may believe. Reply Leave a Reply Cancel reply Enter your comment here... 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