Anxious-Avoidant Attachments

This is a little blurb I birthed out of my brain today:

It’s not that I’m anxious-avoidant in my relationships with those I love, but I am with everyone else and within any situation that might involve me dealing with them.

I’m not necessarily antisocial, but close. In other words I was never originally antisocial, but my experiences have led me to take on some very antisocial qualities. It is the manic within my genetic bipolar tendencies which turned people away from me, and turned me away from people as well. Antisocial behavior and anxious-avoidant attachments are usually taught. People are trained to become this way due to certain experiences or lifestyles starting from young ages. However, these issues are not always initiated when young; I was not very antisocial until late highschool-early college. It depends.

I am not solely a nature-theory follower or a nurture-theory follower, but I subscribe to both equally. I believe it takes both to create truly problematic and interfering psychological issues/disabilities. Usually, to be nearly or outright debilitated by one’s psychological problems takes more than simply being born with it, or only enduring traumas. At least that is how I see it, and that is how I have gathered this ideal through my research and studies. It takes two to tango, even if one or the other initiates the problems first. One tends to follow the other somehow to create truly destructive behaviors.


3 thoughts on “Anxious-Avoidant Attachments

  1. I am in the same boat..I have become more, and more a recluse as time has passed.. Few are in my close, inner circle. I also have some insight to the nature/ nurture debate. I was adopted, and about a decade ago, I met my biological family.. Siblings, parents.. Some of what I found out about myself, in relation to the development of who I am, and how I became that, changed after that experience.

    1. Incredible, thank you for sharing this with me. I couldn’t imagine the strength it took to get through that. As someone who has always planned to adopt, I’m never sure which is the right way to go regarding my children’s biological families. How does one support a child, grown or not, in such a situation? It will also be a difficult thing to understand if certain issues they are experiencing come from my upbringing, or something deeper that I don’t know/don’t understand. What kind of support were you seeking during this time?

  2. I just always wanted to know where I came from, I never felt rooted to any history. I was legally, but that was not a real connection, or a connection That I personally felt was real. It is worthy to note, that my adopted little brother wasn’t plagued by this issue. I believe that has changed for those who are involved in open adoptions. One issue my adoptive mother handled quite well, was in the knowing I was adopted. She began telling my, and answering all questions starting as soon as I could speak sentences, around 2. In adulthood, looking back, I don’t remember a time that I didn’t know this about myself. Best of luck on becoming a family!

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