I do not understand my fiance’s family. Since his commitment to me, quitting his crappy fraternity in freshman year, and his great lack of nightly drinking, his family has shown constant and progressive concern for their son/brother. They strongly believe that he is simply not having enough “fun.” Their definition of fun, apparently, is to go out a lot, party often, and enjoy the company of others (even in promiscuous ways, if ya know what I mean). My fiance does not care for any of that. He did, however, push himself to try the irresponsible, college-partying lifestyle and he absolutely hated it. But, he tried it and got it out of the way; there is no room for the unknown in that area of his life. He does not feel as though he has been missing out on anything. Regarding that, I agree. I am not an often party-goer, although I enjoy smaller, more intimate group hang-outs and get-togethers.
However, my fiance’s family isn’t having any of this wretched behavior.
Yes, folks, a family exists in this world that encourages their children to behave as irresponsibly in college as possible, and they show great disappointment when said children choose to instead focus on the important things. These important things being grades, scholarships, jobs, self-sustaining and independent living, a successful and long-term relationship, etc. The whole family is wrought with worry and concern that their responsible and happy son is not happy enough, and that he will be able to fully live if he played around in his youth.
I’m going to say it.
I can’t even.
My fiance made all of his choices on his own. He has proven to be utmost happy with his decisions, does not feel as though he is missing out on anything, and he is looking forward to his bright future (he is now a senior in college).
For some skewed reason, his family obviously views this all differently. It’s as though they believe he is trapped inside himself, and lying when he tells them how happy he is, although there are some tough times here and there, and that he does not care for extreme and irresponsible behavior. The family truly reacts as though they entirely do not believe that he is telling the truth, and are disappointed in his responsible and mature actions.
I thought parents and family members loved it when one of their kids came out mature, responsible, successful, and happy. What the hell is up with this family’s concerns and reactions?
They have two other sons who have spent their time primarily invested in a frat, frat parties, drinking, and gaming. The eldest is graduating a year late if not later due to flunking courses required by his chosen degree. The second son graduated high school with honors and AP credit, went into bio-engineering, and nearly completely flunked his first semester, then his whole freshman year. And don’t get me started on the oodles of money put into their college. Ferreal.
You would think, then, that this family would be overjoyed that one of their children is not completely flunking out, dropping out, or getting kicked out due to uncontrolled and irresponsible behavior and actions. On that note, this family’s idea of youthful “fun” is not necesarrily everyone’s idea as fun. We enjoy hanging out with close friends, maybe going on a trip here and there, or grabbing a couple drinks at a good restaurant, not the other crap. Others may like it, but it is not for us.
So that’s what I had to say today. It’s been driving me crazy for years now, but up until tonight I finally realized what had been continuously going on. Such bad judging, very fucking weird, so “fun.”