I’m beginning to think that some people assume I’ve never experienced terrible things or have ever been treated like trash (or worse, that I don’t exist at all) because I still have a sense of humor regarding such things.
As a partial psychology student, and a subject I’ve delved into many a time in high school, I love to learn all the different ways in which people cope with traumatic experiences. Some are not healthy at all, others are better, and a few push to find the positive in all the muck.
I choose humor of it all to work my way as happily through the worst as I can. This is why I enjoy comedians such as Dane Cook, Bill Cosby, Louie CK, and Ron White. They turn their crap into something that makes others, and themselves, laugh. That’s a difficult but incredible thing to do.
I laugh about nearly everything as often as I can, no matter how dark and twisted my life gets. This makes people automatically assume you’ve never really endured anything bad. In reality, my whole life has constantly been filled with never-ending, relentless shite. Many of my mini-rants on here would prove that, but my facebook rants are not even the half of it.
I’ve lost many a “friend” because of my sense of humor. But without the humor and making fun of my crappy situations, I wouldn’t be here today. I’m not numb or desensitized to anything, by all means. I’m simply doing my damndest to take control of the parts of my life that I can, and honestly the only part I can control is how I react to the crap. Making fun of it helps me to get over it and move on to the next disappointment.
I used to lament about not having many friends, or that I would lose more and more people would hate me. I tried to just be quietly polite to my huge group of “friends” over and over again. But guess what? They used and abused me anyway. I’m better than that. And if you’re going through that too, YOU’RE better than that.
Don’t be depressed by not having mass amounts of friends all in your school, job, or town. Be excited by the nutjobs that stuck around because they’ve never been offended by you being you, and on top of that they didn’t just hang around for your humor. It goes both ways.
Honestly, look at comedians. How many friends do they really have? Sounds like most of them are pretty independent and have maybe two friends they talk about with whom they haven’t had an extreme falling out.
This is why I adore the show Louie CK. It shows him on stage, making people laugh, enjoying himself by making fun of his life and the lives he observes around him. Then the rest of the show portrays him in his “real life” (as real as he could get it for the show, of course), which doesn’t show him very happy or put together at all. He goes to the comedy club to share, laugh, and recharge. His show displays how people use humor to cope with crappy lives. Without it, he probably would have killed himself years ago to be completely honest. I’ll admit it, I know I’ve been close to it a few times when I thought my sense of humor was stupid and offensive. But you know what? Everyone’s humor is stupid and offensive to someone, somewhere, at some point in time. You can’t avoid it.
It takes real guts to say what you want to say knowing that somebody out there will be pissed off or will ridicule for it, but you don’t let it bother you anymore. Humor is not the easiest form of coping, and it may not be the healthiest either, but it works in its purpose to help you move on from constant, terrible BS. Many of my rants on here come off as angry, but I assure you half the time I’m laughing as I write it. Sure, I was angry at some point, but soon enough I make it into a funny story that usually gets people rolling (some don’t like it but honestly I’ve stopped caring. If you don’t like it, just leave).
Again, back to my attachment to psychology. I adore psychology for all of its aspects and branches, but my favorite is and always will be coping methods. Particularly, my favorite is obviously using humor as a coping method. I’ve piddled with writing a little book about the psychology of humor as a coping method, the psychology of comedians, but mostly making it a mini-bio of my experiences with it and what many of my therapists and counselors have said.
I’ve bounced around a lot in this post, but it makes me feel better to get these rambling thoughts out of my brain. I can’t stop people from assuming what they want about me, but I can stop myself from worrying about by getting it all out and done with. If you haven’t realized it yet, comedians aren’t people-pleasers… Think about it.