Being an adult does not mean getting an apartment just to “live independently” or because everyone else moves in with their boyfriends, why not me too? Being an adult does not mean getting a part time job just for some extra spending cash. Being an adult does not mean having a relationship that has lasted for several years.
Being an adult means that when times get rough, and there isn’t a home to go to anymore, or it’s impossible to live at home anymore, then you are capable of finding a way to survive on your own. This could mean living in an apartment, but you do it because you need to, not because you think it will be fun and want to play “grown-ups.”
Being an adult means finding a job, that you will probably dislike, so that you can buy food to eat every day, so you can go to school, so you can pay for the aforementioned place to live on your own.
Being in an adult relationship has nothing to do with how long you have been with that other person, but the quality of the relationship, and if you are receiving what you are putting into it. My mother had a relationship with my father for over twenty years, but it was terrible and ended tragically. She has been with her soon-to-be husband for much less than that, but their love could not be stronger. Some people have boyfriends they bring with them into college from high school, but that relationship’s age does not in any wash away the fact that they cheat on you, lie to you, abuse you, and belittle you.
Being an adult means being able to get your crap together when life stampedes into your life, taking almost everything with it as it mercilessly runs past into the darkness. It means that no matter how scared you are to take on the world, or how afraid you are to live on your own by your own means, you will do it and you will succeed. It means that the person you are with in your relationship can achieve the same thing, and that you can make it work together no matter what, not just letting him or her do as they please while you clean up the mess or pretend it isn’t happening.
This is why other adults tell us to take things slow with our boyfriends or girlfriends, to stay at home and enjoy the things we receive from our parents for as long as they are offered, and to focus on school in order to find a job someday, not just a job at McDonald’s or in the mall because we just want money now. They try to tell us that if we can avoid this, then we should do so.
Being and adult does not mean finding a reason to go out and “make it.” It means knowing when we have to do so.
Welcome to being an adult. Having fun yet?